Be Careful What You Wish For

If you had a geanie lamp, what would you wish for?
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So many people would wish to be the most attractive person in the world, to be the wealthiest person in the world, to be the best at something, to have the person they love love them back, a chance to change time for one reason or another, ect. ect. Not Me. I have no problem with the fact that I am not beautiful. I do not want to roll around in a pile of money, spending it selfishly on myself. I don't care if I'm the best or the worst at anything, though I'm competetive, I don't mind losing; it enhances humility. I'm okay with the fact that the person I love will never love me in return; I just want them to be happy. I would never want to change time... things would be so different; the things that happened in my life for the better might never have happened and I would never chance that. 3 wishes. A mere 3 wishes you get granted. I'll say here that even a single wish with the garuntee to be granted is a wonderful thing, so I don't think Aladin should complain. What would I wish for? This may sound hypocritical, but I'd wish for an endless suply of money. Before you point a finger and think I'm selfish, let me explain myself. With that money, I would buy my best friend her dream car because of everything she's done for me. I'd also pay for her college tuition and all the gas she could burn. I'd take care of all my friends so they could be happy and have the opprotunities to do the things they want to do. The rest, I would give to charities. I honestly care for the starving children in Africa, the starving children everywhere. I care for those that can't provide for themselves and I would help them. Not a cent would go to me, I'd garantee it; I would continue working for the things that I want and not ask them to be handed to me because I have money. My second wish would go for world peace. Yeah, I know I probably sound like a pageant queen or some other sh*t, but I truely want that. I have so many good ideas to make the world a better place. I dream of a world without war and hunger, greed and hatred. I cant even go into my ideas about that... thats for another post in itself. For my third and final wish, I would wish for one of two things. If I could free the geanie with my third wish so he could be free and live, then I would. But if that wasnt so, I would wish for happiness for others. I'd wish that everyone else could be truely, genuinely happy. I want them never to have be so unhappy with their lives that they'd want to end it. I want for my friends who think that way, to look on the bright side and know that it gets better even if its not very good now. I want them, everyone, to be able to see that they are good, that they are wanted, that they never have to end their own lives because someone out here cares about them, and that alone is purpose enough to keep going. I want them never to shut out good thoughts, to be optimists, or remotely optimistic. I want them to be happy.
And that, my good friends, is what I'd wish for. Yeah, I'm sure many wouldn't wish for the same things with the same reasons. But I'd never take my three wished lightly, not like the rest of the world, or those who think solely of themselves. And maybe at the end of the day when all wishes are granted, you, with your money, good looks, and talent better than that of everyone else, and me. You may be happy with what you have, sure. But I, I will know that I made a difference, that I helped someone, that people have and will benefit from 3 little wishes. I will go to bed at night knowing that I did the right thing. That is what I'd wish for. What would you wish for?
~The Em~

Love Letter To You

My Dear Love,
though you know it not. I do love you. My heart only beats for you and the hopes you will see my true feelings. All I want for me is you, all I'll ever want is you. You are my every dream, my every thought. I desire you, need you. I crave your affections and your warm touch. I close my eyes and see you. You flow through my viens, in my blood, and drive me forward every day. I ache for you all hours of the day. I care for you so deeply, always have, always will. I fell for you the moment my eyes laid upon your wonderful figure, soon falling madly in love with the real you. My love always growing for you. My heart always needing you so it can beat, to keep me alive. I love you, so wholely. Only you will I love 'till the day of my death. Only you can dance through my dreams every night. Only you will I love forever.
But you know this not. You havent a clue, or maybe you do, you just refuse to acknowledge the truth. So friends we remain. I rock you in my arms as you cry. I laugh with you when you smile. I feel the pain you feel so often. I feel the real you you lock up inside. I know you inside and out. I've wrapped my life around yours. I've rearranged my priorities, putting you first. I've turned down needed opprotunities for merely the chance to talk to you again. I've always been there for you, or at least, tried. I've stayed stubbornly by your side even when it seemed you did not want me there. I have and will do everything for you as long as you allow it.
So friends we remain. And I regret this will, most certainly, always be so. Friends we shall be. I really do not mind. As long as I'm close to you in some way, I'm satisfied. I'm better now that you're in my life. Better now that I've known you. So I will continue to rock you as you cry. Continue to laugh with you when you smile, feel your pain, and know the real you. I will continue to stay by your side though anything. Always remaining your friend.
It pains me to say this. I suppose giving up all your hopes, giving up your greatest dreams, would hurt. More than anything it hurts. These feelings inside me will continue to grow stonger, and stronger, though already stronger than anything I've ever known. I know, some day, these feelings, this love I have inside me, will eventually cause me to implode. Everything will cave in inside me. My heart will fail me, not wanting to continue beating without your requited love. Because although your friendship is at the least of what I want, it is not what I need, not what can make me truely live and be genuinely happy. No, this will bring my end if never its tended to. But alas I do not care. You are all I want. You are all I need. You in my life at all has prolonged it's willingness to keep on going and growing. A part of me is okay with the early death this love will bring me. But a part of me inside doesnt want this. I dont really want to die not knowing your love. I dont know if I'll ever know your love. But I love you. I want you to feel this love, let it warm you when you're cold. Let my love in, let it flow through your veins. I love you will all my mind, heart, and soul.
You now have my heart. Do with it what you please. Break it into a thousand pieces if it pleases you. Or keep it and cherish it...love it. Do not give it back, I cannot take it. It is yours, your burden or treasure, whichever you chose. Just know: I have and forever will love you. No matter what, I do. I love you.

with all my heart mind and soul,
~The Em~

I Care

I really want you to read this... for me it really hit home...:

You think you're useless
You think you're worth nothing
You harm yourself to rid yourself of the thoughts...

You think noone loves you, you think you're alone. You think You're in a world without someone to care...

I Care.

You think you're not important
You think noone feels your worth their time
You can't rid yourself of the thoughts...

You think the world is against you, You think everyone is there to harm you, You think it's fair that you should die.

I Care.

I care about you, I care about your health. I care about your friends, I care about your life.

I Care.

Put down the razor, don't think of it any more. You have someone to care, someone loves you. You have a purpose, and you can't question that.

I Care.

Lay your head down, I'll bandage the wounds. I'll get your help, don't worry. You'll pull through, I'll make sure of it. I'm here to catch you because I Care.

Don't do it again, I beg you. I scold you, I lecture you, I'll be here if you need me. You can tell me anything, I'll never tell anyone else. I'll help you down if you're willing to come with me.

I Care.

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to me... this really, like i said hit home. A friend of mine wrote this and i am so glad he did. this... this really makes me regret what i do... makes me want to stop forever... I know what it feels like on the recieving end of this... its hard. But i too know how it feels to care about someone who does. I lay awake, crying at night for them, for me. I want us to stop so much. When i say us, i mean everyone who does. Not just those that i know. I dont want anyone to feel that they have to. I want everyone to know that i care. I care so truely and deeply. I want you to know that. I want you to be on the recieving end of what you do. I want you to stop and never look back. These tears i cry are for you, for me. You need to know. I Care.

~The Em~