I'm Fearless

I've told you time and time again. I'm fearless.

But to be honest though, I'm not. I'm not afraid of spiders, of snakes, of the monsters under the bed. I don't scream in scary movies, don't freak out at haunted houses or worry incessantly about what's hiding behind the next corner. I have no phobias. I'm also not afraid of what other people think of me, of what others are capable of, or the authority posessed by some. However, I am scared of you. Scared shitless. I'm scared you're going to walk out of my life as quickly as you walked into it. I'm scared that you'll hurt me. I'm scared that you'll stop loving me, scared that someday you'll wake up and see my every flaw. I'm afraid you'll shatter my heart into a billion little pieces. I'm afraid you'll realize you're way too good for me. I'm afraid you'll find someone better and you'll take that opprotunity. I'm afriad you'll get tired of me, afraid you'll leave and never come back. I'm terrified if that happens, if you break my heart, how it will kill me to see you. I'm terrified by how my heart already stops every time I see you, terrified by how much it would it hurt if you leave. I'm terrified that you're just like cocaine, and baby I"m addicted.

I'm just completely and utterly fearful.
~th em~

There Is No Fighting the Tide

Along with death and taxes, change is also something that is expected and required in life. It happens every day to every one. Some are small, like changing your mind on where to go for lunch. Some are life altering, like death. With the changes, you must adapt. I'll probably be the first to admitt, I'm not the greatest in the world at adapting to change or accepting it for that matter. A bitter taste on my tongue, change is something I do not like. I'm not unlike others in this matter. Find any cafeteria or break room. People will sit in the same place every time. Someone takes their place and all hell breaks loose. But despite my distaste for eminent change, I find myself submerged in it. Just when I think I can tread the waters of a change, a new wave breaks and I'm pulled under again to fight my way back to the surface. It's a never ending fight. It seems I can't catch a break. Not all change is bad, not in the least. There are probably as many positive changes in life as negative. It's all a part of living, of breathing. Changing. You can't evade it, can't fight it. The world is always turning, the days are never the same.
~the em~